has never been my friend..
i have named her my enemy from the second i announced my birth..
from the moment i made use of my lungs
and screamed my existence to the world..
when i am suppose to acknowledge her existence
i become undone
i have learned to accept her
because i have realized
that i cannot make it without her
because without her i would have ended my days in an asylum
ingesting small round pills that would
force her into my being
and when anything good
enters my life these days
i ask for her company..
to never leave my side
but i still hate her
because i can never be her
because she can never be a part of who i am and because i need her to succeed..
so forgive me