Making Lemonade

Never has that saying, ‘when life gives you lemons’ hit the hardest for me than now. For all that haven’t heard the news, Ms. Chavez is no longer a teacher at Fashion High, and whether it is important to some and not important to many, the WHY begs to be explored and exposed because it is important to ALL, mainly teachers that serve with their heart. This system that was designed for the future citizens of this city, ‘the capital of the world’, has it’s many cracks. Why are we not concerned with fixing it? I was told that because it ‘works’ for the ‘privileged’ few, the rest are not as important therefore the status quo must not be interrupted.

I disagree, and so here is my story.

After 15 successful years at Fashion High, I was involuntarily reassigned in July to another High School that does not have my highly specialized license, Fashion Design. This was the outcome of a five month served suspension that ended in fine for ‘misuse of DoE email’. The amount paid? $2,500 counter-offered from $5,000. Note, that is the same range of a fine for assaulting a NJ Transit worker.. ASSAULT. You can draw your own conclusions.

How did this happen? I have been asking myself this for a long time.. February of this year to be exact, when I received the suspension letter.

I was on the NJ rail on my way to work around 6 AM and checking my work emails and there it was, the letter of suspension:

Now stop for just one moment and imagine yourself, if ever you lead a life of careful decision-making, thought out planning because of how you were raised, the values instilled in you, the career you have devoted yourself to because in the end you don’t want to shame nor disappoint your family nor the students you have cared for all of this time and reading this… ‘charges preferred against you’, ‘recommendation that you be suspended’.. ‘immediate removal’.. I felt numb.

The charges were as follows:

The charges had to do with a non DoE affiliated study abroad program that I began in 2012 and conducted independently for 7 years till 2022. These charges had to do with the trip of 2022. The DoE got around to suspending me 3 years after the investigation.

For the 7 years this program was under my care, it never depended on the Department of Education for resources, funds nor time. For the span of that time, I was never approached directly by Administrators regarding the legalities or negative implications that could arise by having a program of this nature within their school, nor given guidance on HOW to properly affiliate the program with the DoE, even with the participation of students from other high schools such as Stuyvesant and Truman High. I began by only accepting graduating seniors and ran it on my own with my own funds, sometimes taking from my own retirement to make this possible for these students. The first year was exhausting but I believed it to be a very rewarding experience. Study abroad changed my life in college and knew this too could be instrumental for our students, predominantly youth that never experienced life outside their own neighborhoods.

A Department Coordinator approached me about participating in the program and I turned her down because I was ok with doing it all on my own. She persisted and after explaining that all expenses would have to be absorbed by her own account, she agreed and began traveling with the group yearly. The program grew thanks to her influence as my superior, and began including Junior students. This was concerning to me yet, she would respond with ‘I’ll talk to the principal.’ She has or had a long history with the principal. They have known each other since before the principal became a principal, therefore I trusted her. That was my mistake and today I am paying for that misguided trust.

I want to take a moment to share as to why I trusted this person. When you travel with someone you get to see certain sides of them, and I genuinely believe there were positive layers to her. Within her years of teaching, she had an impact on the students she taught and this was experienced when they came to celebrate her for the retirement party I planned and organized for her that same year, June 2022. She was also experiencing having to care for a terminally ill spouse at home and I, as her friend, would show up and help her feed him, help her clean him, do groceries for her to make sure she ate, walk her dog and slept over to be there for her when her family wasn’t. She also took on the task of pouring her sisters ashes in the one place her sister wanted her remains to be, in Italy, and I did that as well with her.. I showed up; I allowed myself to care about this person because that is what friends do. In the end, it seems her friendship with the principal trumped mine.

As per the charges, I have evidence that defends my innocence. I remember reading through the results of the initial investigation, in the presence of the union rep and the principal and highlighted the lies and untruths. Besides the fact that parents were NOT interviewed, I couldn’t believe her statement was clearly false.

FACTS against the charges:

• A)The program was not a DoE program therefore DoE rules and regulations fall out of jurisdiction with the program.
• B)All parents were informed and emails exist of their acknowledgment.
• C)The Dept. Coordinator, friend of the principal was the chaperon of the students and emails exist to prove the point. I, on the other hand, was on vacation with 2 alumni. One of them is no longer a friend and has gained employment with HSFI while the other has proven to be an amazing friend, lifting my spirits daily and reminding me of my purpose.
• D)Again, not a DoE program.

After the OSI investigation (2023), and charges faced (2025), what was left was a chance to a hearing. I had to go back three years and dig up every piece of communication that would clear me of the charges and I did. All the while I sat in the main office of another high school, for 5 months, answering phone calls and stuffing envelopes while collecting a 6 figure salary, NOT teaching, not serving my students. That experience was draining for a teacher such as myself. The entirety of my career, I was a doer, a take-charge-er, an active participant and never a passive employee. I took my mission seriously and to be placed in that situation had me questioning the why of my existence. I emailed almost weekly to my union lawyer to know where my case was going. My priority was my classroom and not being there was eroding my mental health.

The end of May came around and an ‘agreement’ was proposed. Agree to ‘the misuse of DoE emails’ and pay the fine and you could ‘possibly’ go back to Fashion. I asked to remove the ‘possibility’ because I believed I would be removed if given the chance by the principal but trusted that the decision would be made by the superintendent. I trusted that my 22 years of service, 15 in the school building, 10 years as Admissions Associate, active participant of auditioning students, crafting the student climate in the building, would convince the superintendent that I deserved to stay in the one school I came to see as my home. That did not happen. The principal had the final say. It seems principals have more control over superintendents in certain cases and this was one of them but should it be? How can using your work email improperly destroy decades of commitment?

One last curious observation, apart from that ‘friend’ that got a job with the DoE at Fashion after disassociating herself from my non-profit, did I mention I began a non-profit for the students at HSFI? Yes, that’s how far I went for the students I cared for. The goal was to assist financially challenged students by raising funds for supplies, sewing machines and scholarships for study abroad, and we have since 2017. The study abroad program continued in 2023 and 2024 and guess who got to go to Italy with the students? Yes, the principals friend, and public records show she received per session. Did she conspire to have me removed?

There were many attempts at pleading my case to the principal, and the superintendent. Many former students, parents, mentors, retired principal emailed both the superintendent and the chancellor and all for naught. Their pleas meant nothing and was even asked ‘why would I share my employment status with my now adult students?’.. a question that had me perplexed, why would I confide on my mentees, the way they confide in me? Because that is what a community does! We support each other when we most need it.

It ends with me being placed in a high school that does not have my license and I am currently struggling to adapt. Is finding proper placement for teachers a difficult task for the Department of Education? I have cried in this new classroom more than a veteran teacher should and have sought help professionally in many ways and I can only thank God for the people that have shown compassion and continue to reach out. My trust has been diminished and certain terms do not hold their weight, ‘safe spaces’, ‘cultural inclusivity’, ‘social emotional learning’, they all now sound like boxes to tick to appear as if we are moving forward but it’s only serving the few in a system that serves millions. The term ‘power of representation’ on the other hand was recently experienced by me, when I met the principal of this new school. She genuinely welcomed me and briefly shared her rise to principalship from being a para-professional. That shouldn’t be but is very impressive for us as Black and Brown educators; I wish there were more or at least celebrated more fervently.

This entire experience has me feeling lost, abandoned, betrayed and heartbroken because I am a product of this system and believed in the good it can do for our students but it failed me. And I am laying out the details of my story so it can help any teacher, new or seasoned, in their career. It seems that in many spaces, it is not about meritocracy but WHO YOU KNOW and there should be no room for it in public service fields. Building community yes, but not latching on to people in power so you can get away with loosening regulation and not be held accountable for your irresponsible ways. I have accepted my fate; I don’t want to be where I am not wanted by those that don’t value me. This is a lesson I teach my students and one I have had to painfully remind myself of.

Learn from my mistakes.
I believe in that saying, ‘a smart person learns from their mistakes, and a wise person learns from the mistakes of others.’
Don’t get caught up with certain people that don’t align with your goals and if you have a big heart, guard it. I’ve been told it can work against you when working in the honorable field of teaching.

Don’t get stuck having to make lemonade.. without water nor sweetener, after all, this is the DoE.