October 31, 2011 at 11:30 PM
‘Meet me at Cafe Reggio at 3 pm tomorrow‘
A man that can tell me when and where to be with absolution is a man I can adore, respect and fear
and so I did – meet him
and so I do – adore him
and so I will – fear what started last night
The snow began around 11 and I stared in amazement at its downpour from my window
small white shadows flurried down and as the minutes went by turned into giant flakes
What a day? Out of all days… why today?
But if I don’t go? Will he take it as a sign that I wasn’t that interested… when words couldn’t express how interested I was
And if I do go and he doesn’t?…
Just GO
and so I did
at least it will be memorable because of the snow in October
arriving early I sat to wait and expected him not to show up
bzzzz-bzzzz – ‘Where are you?’ – ‘I’m waiting for my date’ – ‘oh o.k., I forgot’ – ‘Well, I’ll give him half an hour to show up, if not I’m out.’
‘Oh stop! He’ll show’ – ‘oh you know guys, they can be assholes! Oh wait! Here he comes! Gotta go!’
He stood tall and all I saw was his blues eyes
He was covered in small white flakes that quickly disappeared with the warmth of the room
He looked around and I wondered if he remembered what I looked like but then his eyes met mine and the search was over
My heart wants to go deeper
Every woman’s heart wants to believe that the first encounter will be magical and that as soon as your eyes meet his, he will realize that you are what hes been searching for, this unique phenomenon like snow in October… (sarcastically) unbelievable!
The thing was, the ‘thing’ is, that this wasn’t our first encounter
We had met a while ago with our words..
The honest unassuming exchange of words happened between us and that was when I first met him..
That was when my heart began to beat faster
when I read his words..
therefore to have him before me was just the added stimuli that made my heart race
because he turned out to be all his words were
I just maintained this prayer within me that afternoon and evening that he continue to be just that
and that his colors not turn after the sun went down or rose again
that he not be this amazing crazy event that happens once every 50 years, like snow in October
and
he hasn’t
yet
I’m cautious, I’m back on American soil and I’ve chucked that hard learned Italian lesson about ‘Passione‘
‘Lasciati Andare ROSA, lasciati andare‘ – (la-sha-tee an-dah-re)
Tran: Let yourself go!
and I’m so scared and I’m not scared of the aftermath either
Habit is kind of a miraculous thing like snow in October
but
if I treat this
like snow in October
this can be this eyeopening
chilling
exhilarating moment
that can leave me breathless
doubtful yet wanting to leave the safety of my four walls
looking for needful things to keep warm
wanting to know if anyone else is feeling this enjoyment
because it has been so long
and even if those flakes will never fall again in October
I will savor every second till they hit the ground
stick
clump
and melt
and evaporate – beginning the cycle
for the snow to come
M. Woods
Lessons learned 