I am an open book… it is in my nature to speak, to write, to voice what I feel, to blow the whistle LOUD.. as LOUD as possible. Whether it creates turmoil or not, that will not change. This will allow anyone to see, to hear my position but not necessarily understand it, or understand me.
Other’s are not open. They do not feel comfortable sharing information. Some feel safe writing their positions on a screen dismissing the impact of their words and even that is ok. Feelings can get the best of all of us yet self-awareness is key, especially if you will be contributing to society by parenting the next generation. I bowed out of that trap and am overjoyed with teaching the young. I find it more rewarding.
Many painful things experienced in my childhood shaped and increased the volume of my voice. Those that harmed me counted on my feeling ashamed and silence as a little girl to get away with their crimes, but they didn’t count on my having a fierce woman that protected me, my grandmother, my mother, my Queen.
Who and what Antonia means to me can be felt and witnessed in every word written and exchanged between the hundreds of peoples encountered in my life so far.
Since then, I remember shame lives in the dark and is not to be felt by children but the predators. How do you redirect the shame? By bringing it to the light, by speaking up.. I shared my pain with my mom and she came to my defense. Today as a teacher and mandated reporter, I am obligated to look for those signs, I focus on them because I was once a defenseless child. And so today, I use the tools that exist in the world, digital or not, to express myself. I count 15 journals filled with my written experiences of the past 30 years. My ‘primohermanos’ knew to gift me journals because they knew my love for writing.
Now, this is a one way street which is not to be confused with actual human connection, the two way street that allows for comprehension, conversation, discussion, mutual understanding, sympathy, compassion, the tenets of any healthy community.
Digital platforms have become information highways with many entrances and exits and in my lifetime which spans pre and post internet, have sadly experienced humans replacing the back and forth ‘posting’ as genuine connections. It is becoming abnormally normal, a dangerous red alert for tomorrow, to not reach out and speak but ‘hit send’. How can the future progress for the better if this is seen as a resolution?
As for me, a true ‘pen and paper’ writer, a stamp user, purchased calling cards to get in touch with my grandmother and family when I lived in Italy, still remember opening a Facebook account in 2007, 08? because it was ‘free’ and a quick method of staying in touch with loved ones that lived across the Atlantic.
I would walk to the corner telephone, YES, remember those? An actual MACHINE that had a cord to a RECEIVER which you spoke into to TALK, not text, TALK, after Telecom Italia got their money. I could say that I miss that obsolete technology yet it still exists. We may have exchanged the cords to wireless, but the cord has changed, chaining us, making room for miscommunication and misunderstanding.
But I remain ‘comodamente‘ in my generation’s definition of communication:
‘Hablando se entiende‘.
When I lived in Dominican Republic as a child, I remember neighbors coming to our home to receive a phone call because they didn’t have ‘long-distance’. Then I experienced beepers in the 80’s, then calling AFTER 9 PM on a cell phone to avoid using your minutes… Yeah, I’m THAT OLD.
Having lived and travelled to different places, I remain friends with so many people, who speak different languages, Spanish, Italian, Greek, French, Farsi and even Japanese, and they all possess the one piece of information that sustains our connection, my phone number and I theirs – two way street. I thank them for reaching out in what felt like a weekend like no other.
The Queen’s vitals took us on a ride!
She has taught me many lessons, either directly or indirectly and I will always be in awe due to the limitations she faced yet her I am, here we are.. Her grandchildren are successful people despite the elders that raised them.. and success has taken many forms. My definition of success is, we are in a better place in spite of and thanks to them.
Despite earning a Masters in Instructional Technology, I will not give in to today’s distortions of effective communication. Let’s master comprehension before we greet AI with open arms and choose to talk, speak up, regardless of how uncomfortable it may feel with the goal of sustaining human connections… your children will thank you for it.
Rosa Isabel Chavez 